2010-02-06 - When the Lantern goes out.

From JLU MUX

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When the Lantern goes out.
Summary: Pantha's post-brain-wipe check up. Natu tries to convince Pantha that she is more than just a fighter. Pantha convinces Natu that she may be wrong about that.
Who: Pantha, Soranik Natu When: 02-06-2010 Where: Star Labs, Metropolis

The time for Pantha's check-up arrives. She actually doesn't need Hal as an escort this time so she is asked to come in on her own. Natu is sitting in her lab, going over some data and studying your old blood work as a refresher. The stool has a back to it, and Natu is leaning back, her head tilted slightly back as she looks up at the large screen. The operation seems to have worked. The brain matter which was causing Pantha's extreme mood-swings and hostility have been removed and the treatment to prevent the overgrowth from happening again seem to be working but with something like this, you can never be too safe.

Pantha walks in looking very, well, neutral. She has on gray jogging pants that are lose so they fit her inhuman legs and a dark gray short sleeve shirt. She wears a small black leather fanny-pack and has her hair tied back behind her head. She walks in calmly, looking around the lab taking her time. She isn't scared of the lab or the doctors which she finds strange but logically, it's star labs, what is there to be afraid of? Pantha head into the appointed room pausing as the door opens, "Doctor? You ready for me?" she asks.

Natu looks over and smiles. "Pantha. It is good to see you on time. I was just reviewing your latest data. I will need to draw more blood again to double check and run some additional tests. How are you feeling however?" She motions toward an examining table which has a cloth laid across it so you aren't sitting on cold metal.

Pantha moves over to the table and slides up on to it, "Peaceful." she says, "Which is new for me. You?" she does seem peaceful not at all her normal aggressive self. "I don't want to fight any more. At least not like I use too. Now I.. I'm not sure what I want." she says then shrugs, "guess it doesn't matter much." the woman says as she lays down on the table. She wore a short sleeved shirt for ease of blood drawing.

Natu stands up and gathers the needle to take blood from you. "It matters, and in time you will figure things out at your own pace and time Pantha. No one has the right to push or pull you." She smiles softly, a doctor smile meant for comfort. The blood is taken and the mark cleaned as she goes to put the blood in the proper labeled container. "You seem to be doing well." She hesitates a moment before adding, "I have something of yours. A message you wrote for yourself. It was...written in a violent manner, but your feelings seemed sincere behind them. I was wondering if you wanted it."

Pantha smiles and says, "I would love to hear from me. I miss me. What did I have to say?" she asks sitting up on the table. She is curious. "Let me guess, 'Don't go near Hawkman for 72 hours?' or 'Don't drive cars in first gear all the time.' If so, that will be a funny note."

Natu blinks, her purple eyes widening a bit about being near Hawkman. Sometimes, it's best for the doctor not to ask. "Right...," she doesn't comment on your sense of humor either. But she goes to head toward a box and opens it. She carefully removes a notepad and walks it over to you. She holds it out. You can smell your blood on it. "I thought it would be too much to give it to you immediately, with you not even being comfortable with your own name. I apologize if that was the wrong thing to do," her tone sincere.

When you take the notebook and open it, on the first page is a message written in your own blood, you likely used a fingertip to write it. It reads: 'Don't be a moron! You love Jason Blood. He is your soul mate. Kill anyone who stands between him and you. Anyone.'

Pantha looks down at the letter and then sniffs it. Her blood, she defiantly wrote it. She looks at it for a long time staying silent for a good minute her face going from passive to sad, "I guess I really wanted me to remember him." she says then she folds up the paper and puts it in her pocket. "I wish I did. I know him, I know things about him, but I don't have feelings for him. Not any more. Not for any of them. So, I guess it doesn't matter that you didn't give it to me. It wouldn't have meant anything anyway. " the feline says, "What about your findings? Do you think it'll work?"

"Well, if you want you can keep it or...," she motions toward a bio-hazard waste can. Natu then nods, "As long as this blood sample still comes up stabilized, I think we corrected the problem about the constantly mutated genes. However, I'd still like to continue periodic check-ups to continue to keep an eye on your progress and make sure there aren't any long-term side-effects. I'm concerned about your emotions. It may just be an effect of losing your memories, but...usually there is fear or confusion, something felt when memories are lost."

Pantha shrugs and says, "I felt those then I mated and now I'm OK." Pantha says, "I have no reason to feel anything at this time." she says not coldly but without passion. "I have fulfilled my programing. I have battled, I have won. I have a male to create off spring when I chose to have them. I have no reason to be upset. All my directives have been fulfilled." the cat woman says as she stands up from the table. "Perhaps I will learn to do something enjoyable like music or painting." which is sooooo unlike the previous her. "Something to enrich the lives of others." she says straying into the domain of the pod-people.

A shake of Natu's head, "That's the problem. You aren't a robot that operates merely on programming." Again, she doesn't comment on the mating. "You have been altered on a genetic level, so I'm not sure if I would consider you exactly human. However, you are an intelligent being, with a rate to live and grow as an individual." Natu doesn't see being 'not human' as a bad thing, after all, she isn't human. "I do suggest you speak with a counselor. I'm afraid I don't have references for her, but I can start a search if you like. You want to take a path that will lead to self-discovery, not trying to fit yourself into a cut-out made for someone else." Since this is very much NOT Pantha's way of talking, Natu merely assumes it is someone else's words you are repeating. Memory lose doesn't usually cause a complete personality change, so Natu is severely concerned.

Pantha looks down at her pant leg where she stored the note. "I was made to battle evil. I have done that. My function is fulfilled. There is no more to life than that which we are created to do. You were created to heal. I was created to kill. I have done my share. I'm over it." that last part sounded like there was some emotion behind it. "I just want to be left alone. I feel this aching hole inside me where I think Jason blood use to be. Now I don't know. But I don't want to be around people any more if this is what it leads to. " Pantha stands, sliding off the table, "Caring hurts too much. I've done my part. I just want peace."

"No, I wasn't created to heal. I was just...born. I was adopted by two good people when I was an orphan and I decided to help people medically because I thought medicine was interesting and I genuinely cared for people." Natu is quiet for a moment then, "Would you mind hearing a story Pantha? It's a story about my...home-world. I can't promise it will have the answers it seek, but perhaps it has a lesson or two you can learn from it."

Pantha wouldn't mind if she was stabbed in the back with a tire-iron at this point she is so apathetic. She shrugs and says, "Sure. We keep the past alive through stories. Stories are important." she sounds like she is saying something she read in a book.

A slight frown, but Natu gathers her thoughts. When she speaks, it is with emotion. She can't even block it all out. "There was a Green Lantern on our world. One we praised as a hero, and thought he could do no wrong. Apparently, about the time I was born this hero began to become something more, something darker. He began controlling the people of my home-world, crushing any who disagreed with him, and became a ruler with an iron fist. He replaced our government, and policed to his own values. He said he was protecting us from ourselves, but he just wanted power," anger tainting her voice. "When he was finally overthrown and lost the Green Lantern ring, it was too late. Our home-world was in chaos, broken and limping. A new government was built, but it soon proved corrupt, the people no longer knew how to rule themselves and they did not trust the Green Lanterns. Green Lanterns can lie and they had power that no one on our home-world could fight against. They were monsters." Strange hearing such dark words from Natu, a Green Lantern.

She takes a deep breath before continuing. "I grew up on these stories, learned it in history class in school. I never wanted to see our world so badly broken like that, I wanted to help rebuild it. I wanted to help my people. So I became a doctor. I studied hard and worked hard. I was one of the most renowned and sought after neurosurgeons on my home-world" A slight bitter smile crosses her lips. "Then, suddenly while I was in the middle of a surgery, a Green Lantern ring appeared before me."

Pantha looks up and says, "So the rings choose the people, not the other way around?" curious about that, "I thought it was like joining the military." but she lets the story go on.

"No, the rings do choose the people with a programmed intelligence given to them by the Guardians," Natu explains. "In either case, I shunned the ring. It was disgusting, a symbol of extreme evil to me. Think of the Earth's Hitler, that is how my planet felt about the Green Lanterns." She waits for just a moment for that to sink in before continuing. "I ended up grabbing for the ring however when I realized my patient was dying on my operation table. With the ring's power, I was able to save his life." A slight shake of her head. "I was summoned to Oa, the world where the Guardians reside. There, I told them I would -not- accept the ring, and once I returned home I would remove it." She mmms softly, "However, on the way home, I thought...about the being that the ring belonged to before. I went to fetch his dead body Pantha. I couldn't stand his people not having someone to bury. I needed help in the end and two Earth Green Lanterns responded to my distress call. It was those two Green Lanterns that convinced me to keep the ring that I so hated, hoping that I could do more good things for other people."

There is a catch, there has to be. And looking at Natu's sad purple eyes...there is.

Pantha looks down, away from those alien eyes. She feels sorry for the girl. She knows how this story is going to end. The same way all stories about heroes end, "But there was betrayal." she guesses.

"It depends on how you look at it. My people didn't like the fact I took a Green Lantern ring. They feared me, hated me because of the power I decided to accept. They believed it would corrupt me and turn me evil. So they revoked my practice license, threw my things out of my apartment and onto the street. I was jobless, homeless, no friends or family I could count on, an orphan once again." She then says softly, "I burned my things on the street that day. Everything...I thought I would kill Dr. Natu, and become someone entirely new. I worked hard at becoming a good Green Lantern." She then says softly, "It took me a long time to let my anger and hurt go. The homeless started it, they came to me for medical attention because there wasn't anyone to help them. Now I run an illegal free clinic for the homeless on my home-world Coming here, finding work here where I'm a researcher with medical things again, finding Hal...it has really changed my outlook Pantha. I betrayed my people by accepting the ring, they are terrified I will hurt them like Sinestro did. A monster that has become a terror on Earth now as a Yellow Lantern. It will take years, if not a lifetime or more to rebuild the trust between the Green Lanterns and my people. To show them that they can trust us once again. And I had to forgive my people for judging me, because if I don't, how can I ever help them forgive my own betrayal to them? If you lock yourself away you will find yourself alone, and unable to grow. Least, that is what I have come to discover."

Reaching up and scratching her face while she thinks. Pantha stays silent after that story for a while then says, "But you still are created, you have a destiny, you were born but can you look back at your life and see any point which wasn't leading up to this moment? I see things other people don't see because I'm looking from outside. I see how the choices we make lead to the lives we have. I see it every day all the time. It's like people have a destiny that they are designed to fill. Yours was to bare that ring. Yours was to be here to help me like no one else could. You gave me peace. You let me escape the pain and hate. That was your destiny. But born or created, we are what we are and when our time is done, it's done." she says, "You still have a destiny to fulfill. You still need to be a hero. I was never a hero and the world doesn't need more killers." Pantha says shrugging.

"I have a destiny? I'm afraid I don't believe that. A person makes their own destiny. I'm not much to believe in fate or pre-destination. Life is all a combination of choices, but there is free will to make those choices. If you think you are done with yours, then create a new one. I wish I could have something more productive and helpful to say."

Pantha shrugs again, it's becoming her most comfortable form of expression, "In the end, does anything we do as heroes matter? I mean the world is still in need of saving by the end of the day. I can bring down drug lords. Send demons back to hell and evil still thrives. I think the heroes are fighting a losing battle. We are patching up the holes in the world and more holes just keep showing up. What's the point? If you aren't happy, why fight? Why struggle if in the end it's meaningless?"

"But each life you safe is important I believe. Just as I helped you out with my doctor skills, I believe your life is important and worth saving Pantha. Many of those questions, you are going to have to find answers on your own. Other people can only give you answers that they themselves came up with." Natu smiles gently, "I have faith, that each thing I do is important. That for each step I take, I'm working toward making the world a better place. I have that hope and faith, and I choose not to lose it. I almost did, but Hal helped me win it back. It isn't something I'd let go again without a fight."

Pantha looks down for a moment thinking back, trying to find meaning in the fragments of her life, "I had faith in a person once." she says but then she looks up and says, "One of my team mates wants me to move away from my old life to try and find new meaning, without the killing hopefully, in Central city." she explains, "So I won't be able to make it to future check ups as often without stealing a car. I hate stealing cars, it use to be fun now it just seems like too much hassle." she says, "So give me lots of warning and I'll ride a greyhound." hopefully the alien knows it's a bus not a dog she is talking about.

A soft mmm, "Then perhaps you should take it Pantha, if you think it will benefit you to gain a new perspective. Do you know where you will be staying? I can come to you for the check-ups. Please, don't steal cars, I'd hate to have to arrest you. Green Lanterns are a form of police." No, the alien doesn't know what a greyhound is and seems confused. "Perhaps I could take you there?"

The feline again seems to not care one way or the other, "Better than walking." she says, "I left my backpack outside hidden in a tree. Wouldn't want kids finding my explosives or anything." she says then she shrugs, "If you want to ring me there that would be great. Let me just go grab my pack and I'll call and get the address." Pantha says sliding off the table to go outside and call Kari.

"Wait..explosives?" Natu sighs, "You do realize they are illegal and...you can't take them on public transportation." Pantha mentioned being a killer earlier! Geez, Natu is wondering who she just saved, but it doesn't matter. She, grudgingly, would likely save Sinestro too if he was dying from a medical ailment, and she hates him.

Returning with the address and her bag full of armor, Pantha says, "I'm a bio-weapon created to hunt and destroy the enemies of our nation. It's in my programing to keep explosives handy. I can even make them." she says, "Don't worry. I don't use them any more. I just need to have them." and she does need to have them or so she thinks.

"Actually, you don't need to have them. That's like having a security blanket." Natu debates how to do this. "It is illegal weapons, I have to take them from you. It's the law Pantha. However, let me see if I can buy you a different sort of security blanket. What about a stuffed animal or...a really nice blanket?" Natu is watching Pantha upon her return, standing still.

Pantha raises an eyebrow, it's the most expression she has given since she arrived, "I need very few things in life. Man-meat, food-meat, and weapons. Get between me and any of those things and I'll have to hurt you. I really don't have a choice. It's part of the programing. The only one who can disarm me is my mate or my commanding officer, who is usually my mate." she explains, "So, you would be unwise to attempt to take my weapons. I like you. I would feel bad for having to suck out your eyes." she makes it a threat that would mean something to a doctor. No eyes, no helping people. But even as she threatened she can't seem to stir up the angry growling monster she use to be.

"There are always choices Pantha. You have a human brain, not a computer for your thought processing. You can make a /choice/." Natu doesn't look afraid. "I've faced and fought space ships with only myself floating in the deep void of space. I think I can survive Pantha," Natu says simply, calmly. "You can choose between criminal activities, or law-abiding activities. You can choose other ways to feel more secure, to feel safe. You won't need explosions as you try to relearn about yourself, explosions are used for murder and property damage."

"And they are used to knock down walls to let people escape burning buildings. They are used to make smiley faces in foot ball fields. They are used to stop super-powered criminals who need something that hits as hard as superman to even make them blink. There are lots of good uses for plastic explosives. Heck, you can even take out the detonator and use them like Silly Putty." she says and shrugs again. "If you are going to arrest me for the illegal things I do then arrest me for being alive. The people who made me use to keep me in a vat and only take me out when they wanted to cut me open and experiment on me while I was awake. My existence is a violation of our laws. " she shrugs, "You can't enforce some laws and not the others. So, you can make a choice, kill me and obey the law, or let me alone and and do what is right." Pantha says. "Just hurry up and choose so we can get it over with."

"Perhaps, but you said you weren't a hero, you were once a killer. You being you, is not breaking the law. You were genetically altered, it was illegal what was done to you, but you aren't going to suffer punishments just because scientific experimentation was done to you. Nor am I going to kill anyone, I'm not a murderer. I don't believe in the use of excess force, especially from a Green Lantern. The sheer amount of power we have, it's a responsibility. One that should *never* be abused."

Pantha thinks about it for a moment and says, "That's why evil will always strive. Someone told me once that all Good men need to do to let evil win, is nothing. " Pantha says and shrugs, "But philosophy isn't going to solve the problem at hand. Unless you have another power ring floating around that needs a new owner, I need my cubes in case there is an emergency. " or in case she is activated by Cadmus.

"No, you don't. You have claws, teeth, enhanced muscles. You, yourself is a dangerous being. What is the -real- reason that you want explosives? You aren't going out and fighting crime, you are being protected by Aegis Vanguard, you are a powerful being able to rip humans to shreds if you so choose," which Natu hopes Pantha doesn't.

Reaching down into her back pack Pantha takes out her belt then pops open one of the small chambers that has the little C4 cubes in it. She takes off the detonator and holds up just the explosive itself, "When I put enough of these in one place and they go off I get flung across the street or across a room or through a wall. When these go off, I feel /alive/. You don't get it. You're a doctor. You don't understand what it is to be a fighter. I fight, I hurt and I feel alive. These give me an edge. No one expects someone to use explosives in close combat. Even Atomic Skull would be taken down by one of these puppies if I shoved it in his flaming face. You Green Lanterns think you are so special because you have a power ring. Without your ring a stupid cat like me could pulverize you." Pantha says, "But with your ring I would need these to be a threat and I like to be a threat." Honesty at the worst possible time, well, at least some things never change.

"I have seen what explosives do. I've seen dead bodies, I've seen lives lost meaninglessly. Are you going to destroy the place you are staying with? What if the explosives accidentally go off? Earth explosives are known to be unstable." Natu then shakes her head, "I don't think I'm special because of the Green Lantern ring. If I thought that, I would be betraying myself, betraying my people. I would be disgusted with myself. In either case, you just said, you aren't a hero. You won't be fighting. And why would you want to be a threat? Why do you wish to push everyone away, to threaten them and to try and make them feel powerless or that no matter what they choose they are being cruel to you?" Oh, Natu is good at changing the tables too. Natu is about to pull those explosives away from Pantha with her Green Lantern ring, she's watching closely for any sign that the meta-human is going to attack her or become violent. Pantha seems to have purposely gone out of her way to make sure Natu doesn't trust Pantha.

Pantha blinks a few times then turns around and puts the bag on the table as an excuse not to be looking at the other woman, "I can't say." she knows but she can't bring herself to say it. "Just let me keep them. I need them. " she says, "They will keep me safe. I need them." the feline says growing quiet, "Please don't take them." she says taking out the gold mask and looking down at it as she tries to stop from feeling pushing it all down trying not to let it out, "You wouldn't understand. You have all the power in the world. You couldn't possibly understand." she says with her back to the doctor.

"Explosions isn't power Pantha, they are a representation of destruction. I have never used force with my Green Lantern ring unless forced to, to either protect my life or another's. I have never attacked first," Natu says seriously. She steps toward Pantha. "Look -at- me," she orders. "You are not a piece of programming, you have a *choice*. If you decide to become a hero, as long as you always put life above all else, we can re-discuss this. However, with your mind the way it is, you are unpredictable. You don't even know yourself to make an educated decision Pantha. You have only fears and unknowns to guide you. Do you really wish for them to control you?"

Turning to look at the woman Pantha's face is wet from tears but she tries to dry them off as she turns. Fur is such a dead give away though. "You're right. I'm not a hero and I'm not a fighter not any more. Maybe I'm just an animal. Maybe I was from the beginning. Some times I think it would be best if I just ran off into the wild where no one could hurt me." she says. "Where I wouldn't need any of this." she slides the mask back into the bag and takes out one of the wrist gauntlets, "You know, there is an inscription here on the inside of my gauntlet It's a serial number." she says holding it up for the lantern to look at. "Read it." she says. There is one, it's a code for sorting the armor. It's just below a small round hole in the gauntlet where the knock out gas comes out. "This gauntlet is part of a series. They didn't just make one for me. They made hundreds, see?" and yes, if the Doctor gets close enough Pantha is going to gas her in the face with knock out gas. The doctor was right not to trust her.

Natu moves closer to look. She is ready to raise her shield at any moment, but she doesn't think the gauntlets have a weapon inside them. So she is taken completely by surprise when she gets a face full of gas. "Pan..th...," and she collapses. The ring is already working to purge the knock out gas from her system, but it will take a few minutes. Her body hits the floor with a THUD, sprawled in her white lab coat. A shield comes up to provide a safe environment for Natu as if she lost consciousness from being exposed to a hazardous environment, and to protect her. An emergency beacon for assistance goes out to local Green Lanterns, but they all seem otherwise occupied as no one replies.

Pantha smiles down at the unconscious doctor, "Even when you're out cold you're ring protects you. I have to wonder if it's you using the ring or the other way around." the little psychopath says as she lifts the doctor up from the floor and props her up in the chair she normally studies her samples in. Pantha goes back to her back pack and pulls out the belt. She takes out all the explosive cubes she normally carries and dumps them onto the examination table. Then she takes the doctor's pen from her desk and writes on the back of a page from her chart, "Dear doctor. You are right. I have been living in fear. I was as dependent on my explosives as you are on your ring. I don't need my toys to make me dangerous. After all, I could have killed you and you're a green lantern. Power makes people fear you. Fear keeps you safe. Your rings, your army of green spandex. People don't fear you. You're like Superman. Criminals don't like him because he stops them. Criminals leave my territory when they know I am after them because they /fear/ me. They know I would gladly snuff out their lives, or worse. Fear is power, the power to protect those who can't protect themselves. Deep down inside you are going to know that I could have killed you and you are going to fear me. You are going to be on your guard around me all the time. Your fear makes you stronger, more aware. Fear helps you survive. When you Lanterns learn to strike fear into the criminal scum, to make doing crime not worth the price it will cost them. Then you will be bringing peace. Think about it and lets have lunch next Saturday at my place. To make you all happy, I'll not hurt a single living soul for a week unless they attack me first. You look back at the history of Gotham, how violent and corrupt it was before Batman. See the difference one man with no powers striking fear into the criminal underworld has made. You look at the good Batman has done and if you can honestly tell me that fear is not an incredibly effective deterrent to crime, I'll make it two weeks. ~Pantha.

Leaving the note with the pile of explosives, Pantha takes out her portable camera that she usually uses to gather evidence. She sets it on the table then wheels the doctor in her chair in front of the camera. Pantha sets the timer on the camera then moves next to the doctor kneeling down. She leans the doctor's head against her own and slides two fingers up behind Natu's head making a V shape with a wide, psychotic smile on her face as she camera snaps. The doctor is left there in the chair facing the pile of explosives so when she wakes up she will see the note first thing. Pantha takes her camera and the rest of her gear. Central City must have a printer who can make this snapshot into a portrait. Yes, Pantha is going to frame her trophy and put it up on the wall of her new apartment.

Good times.. Good times..