NC: 2010-06-04 - Flash Thwarts Alien Invasion!

From JLU MUX

Flash Thwarts Alien Invasion!
2010-06-04
Linda Park, Central City Evening News Roving Correspondent

"... As of press time, neither clown wished to comment on the record, but the investigation - and the million-dollar cleanup effort now underway at Ray's Peanut Emporium - is still ongoing.

"And now on the lighter side, we have Linda Park with today's crazy adventures of our own scarlet speedster, The Flash. Linda?"

"Thanks Tom! This is Linda Park with the evening news at City Center. Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight one of the greatest battles in human history was fought single-handedly when Central City's greatest hero, the Flash, battled this evil alien dictator and saved the planet from sure destruction! This reporter was right here when-*"

"LADY TOWN CRIER WITH EYES OF TOPAZ! DARE YOU DATE THE MIGHTY ULTRAA??"

"Razzum-frazzum... as I was saying, bravely the Flash stood alone, as the deposed Emperor of Almanac, or something like that, teamed up with that no-good super-villain skank Giganta to loot our planet of its natural resources, or you know, some evil plan-*"

"HEY! WATCH THE HANDS, FLATFOOT! BETTER YET, GET THAT HOT GIRL COP TO DO THAT..."

"Um, um, but bravely The Flash took them both on! Wham! Bam! Kapow! And before you know it, wreckage of the evil alien battleship littered Central Avenue and Keystone Boulevard at the City Center, clogging up traffic for MILES..."

"THIS PLANET BETTER HAVE INSURANCE, IS ALL MIGHTY ULTRAA IS SAYING! THAT SHIP WAS A RENTAL!"

"... And then Giganta sunk to a new low when she unleashed some crazy super-villain hypnotism on the poor Flash to make her dirty sneaky getaway-*"

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT COSTS TO HIRE A SIX-PIECE SPACE ORCHESTRA? MIGHTY ULTRAA DOES, THAT'S FOR SURE!"

"HEY! It's not all about YOU, okay! Now shut up and let me-*"

"And we're back to the studio! Thank you Linda Park for making that extremely professional report. And now, sports, with the Central City Lightning in this year's roller hockey playoffs....."

- end transmission -